My husband unwittingly brought a small pet, when we visited this hotel restaurant.
Barry the shieldbug resembled a green brooch against hisย ownerโs navy jumper.
Sadly, before Iโd finished the sentence, โYouโve got something on yourโฆโ, my other half had pinged the little beastie across the room in a panic.
I really hope this guy, who really shouldnโt really be out and about until spring, is okay.
Still, there could be worse habitats than the dining room of The Taybank.
Itโs a bit like a greenhouse, with the sun streaming through the sash and case windows, a line of blue hyacinths along the mantelpiece, shell pink tulips on the tables, and potted plants draped hither and thither. The wooden seats are flung with grey and white fleeces and thereโs a painting of musicians, which may allude to the C-listed buildingโs time under the ownership of singer songwriter Dougie MacLean. You can look out to the river, as well as their beer garden and the Braan outdoor sauna, which is situated on the banks.
On the casual lunch menu, theyโve got a promising list of options.
I went for the Shetland mussels (ยฃ12, also available as a main for ยฃ22), which came in a creamy saffron and garam masala-ish broth, with plenty of leeks. It was simple and lovely, without a single stunted, shrivelled or sealed bivalve, and there were two shammies of herby focaccia for sooking up the sauce. Iโd soon filled the empty bowl with rattling empty shells.
My dining partner had gone for their salad (ยฃ12) option, which consisted of roasted celeriac chunks, frilly trimmings of kale, orange segments, crispy sage leaves, whole hazelnuts, endive and a subtle citrus dressing. There were none of the billed dates in there, but theyโd replaced those with other miscellaneous bits, so they were forgiven.
We couldโve gone for a game and mushroom pie (ยฃ20), gnocchi (ยฃ18) or chickpea panisse (ยฃ18) for mains, but I opted for the roast pork belly (ยฃ20).
I was presented with three slabs of white meat, which seemed overly flabby. I know this is a fatty cut, but there was barely a hem of meat.
Instead of crackling, theyโd given me a beige and bubbly pork puff sail, but it was as tough as Kevlar, and I couldnโt saw through it. I lifted it up, and tried to chomp, but even that was a challenge, so I gave up before my molars crumbled.
Oh well. I concentrated on the salad, which was thankfully relatively separate from the gravy theyโd poured over the pork. (I donโt like the twain to meet).
This mixture featured an interesting and vibrant choice of bitter leaves and fennel, as well as chunky halved green olives, and more crispy sage. There was also a large dollop of vinegary salsa verde on the side. These elements were great, but there were a lot of piquant flavours going on, and not enough of anything to balance those out. My salivary glands were in overdrive.
I think my other half fared better, with the wholesome main course of dense venison meatballs (ยฃ18) in a spicy tomato sauce. These sausagey bonbons came with a big yellow cushion of polenta, plus kale and a flurry of grated Parmesan.
There are four puddings, and we might've been safer with the raspberry sorbet (ยฃ6) or salted caramel brulee tart (ยฃ6). Instead, we went for the wild card of tahini, kumquat and white chocolate puff pastry slice with orange sorbet (ยฃ8). Silly us.
This was strange. It sounded like a sweet thing, but this deconstructed pastry, which was like 2/1000 of a millefeuille, was more savoury than anything else. We could taste tahini, but the clotted white chocolate wasnโt its usual flamboyantly Milkybars-are-on-me sugary self. The slices of kumquat on top looked sunshiney, but didnโt add much. The best thing was the scoop of orange sorbet.
So, prices are reasonable and thereโs lots of lovely produce at Theย Taybank. However, Iโm not sure they quite know what to do with it.
We left feeling a bit confused.
I just hope poor Barry, once heโs recovered from the concussion, doesnโt feel the same way.
