Tagged eating out

I need a rebrand. I’ll hire a big agency for the campaign. First off is a new name, because this byline has done me no good. The picture isn’t flattering either.  It can go in the attic, along...

Apart from a wheel of cheese, my only other souvenir from our holiday to Arran was near scurvy. My five-a-day routine had tipped into minus territory, dropping to -7 on the day I had a Blackwaterfoot...

One of my favourite online videos features a seagull strolling into an Aberdeen branch of RS McColl’s and shoplifting a bag of cheese Doritos. Down at the Newhaven end of town, these birds were pestering...

I expect that you’d be delighted if your business won an award, cue lots of shouting from the rooftops. However, imagine the disappointment if all this excitement happened during lockdown, when it was...

  There are noodles on the floor, on the window, in his eyebrow and shoe, and draped over the back of the highchair.   Babies and ramen.   It’s a bit like taking a clown to a...

  It’s best not to have a party trick, or you’ll have to do a dolphin impression wherever you go. Same with signature songs and dishes. Black Lace must have got to the point of Agadont and Mary...

  At the bottom of Lothian Road, I thought about lying on the pavement, telling him to go without me and letting the seagulls take my eyes.   My average step count has plummeted recently. It...

      Come ‘awa’ in!”, says the sign as you enter the village of Hopeman.   We were in the area to help clear the house of my much loved late...

    I’m not sure I’d recognise my colleagues. I occasionally wonder if they’d fancy meeting up, but I’ve become a lockdown loner.   As much as I love them, even in normal...

    Notes on inaccurate use of face masks. The reason some people are wearing them underneath their noses must be so they can smell what’s cooking at all the newly reopened...