Iโve always thought there should be soft play centres for adults.
Itโd work a bit like primal scream therapy, and would be a great ice-breaking day out with colleagues you havenโt seen since lockdown.
First, youโd imbibe sugar, then you could bounce a few hollow and brightly coloured balls off other peopleโs heads, scream as you go face first down the bumpy slide, slip a disc on the climbing nets, then have a little cry before napping in a padded tunnel. Very therapeutic.
Thereโs a popular Play Barn at this โlifestyle hubโ destination, which opened before lockdown. Itโs not the primary coloured melted Skittles migraine that you might expect, but more Scandi design house, all muted tones, gentle pops of yellow and blue and some judicious Mork & Mindy rainbow stripes.
Anyway, grown-ups arenโt allowed a shot (boo), though this destination also boasts other attractions that arenโt just for kids. There are some new luxury holiday lodges and, in the main body of the warehouse-like building, a gorgeous Spa, and casual dining restaurant, The Orangery, with a new outdoor area, The Walled Terrace. These two spaces share a menu, which sounds a little MOR, but thatโs not necessarily a bad thing. My mind has never been blown by haggis bon-bons or soup of the day, but that doesnโt mean itโll never happen. Iโm open to possibilities.
However, instead of those, we tried the starter of chicken liver pate (ยฃ7.50), which featured a moussey scoop of smooth meatiness, as well as two palm-sized pieces of wafer thin crostini and a rather watery beetroot chutney. This dish pushed all the right salty, sweet and earthy buttons, though we wouldโve liked a bit more bread. This problem isnโt unique to this place. Nobody ever gets the ratio right. Itโs like mixing too much grout when youโre doing the bathroom tiles.
My chicken satay skewers (ยฃ7) consisted of three yoghurt marinated pieces of pale yellow and mouse-sized soft poultry lollipops, peanut and frisee salad, a wedge of lime and another thin condiment, this time a pleasantly tangy satay one. However, as I couldnโt fit my skewers in the small ramekin, the chicken had to be basted, as if I was washing giant babies in the sink. I also tried the Whitekirk Bliss (ยฃ5.95) mocktail, which was like a tingly and sophisticated take on Um Bungo, with a blend of passionfruit, orange juice, lime, grenadine and soda.
We could have done kedgeree, croque monsieur or burgers for main courses, but instead I went for the warm lamb salad (ยฃ13.95). Annoyingly, theyโd gone a bit full on with the rocket for my liking, since it hadnโt even been billed. Itโs a bit like going to a film, when nobody tells you that The Hoff is its love interest. Maybe theyโre a bit embarrassed about it. Apart from all that shrubbery, I enjoyed the medley of warm shredded lamb, red onion, black sesame seeds, small chunks of feta, red pepper and an opaque lemon dressing.
We also tried the roast duck breast, pumpkin and spinach (ยฃ17.50), which came with a pool of jammy port and raspberry jus, with a bit of orange in there too. The sou'wester yellow risotto had good bite, and was topped by toasted planks of pumpkin. It was a fruity and sweet plateful.
Theyโve got three desserts on the menu - sticky toffee pudding, vanilla panna cotta and chocolate cheesecake.
However, the cake counter had been directly in our eyeline throughout our visit, and we'd been seduced by a couple of under cloche items.
We took away a four-tier caramel cake (ยฃ4) and a slice of New York cheesecake (ยฃ4). Both hit the spot. The sandy hued sponge was layered and topped with thick buttercream and Biscoff crumbs, and the cheesecake was not-too-sweet, with a snow white topping and biscuity base.
The food may not be terribly exciting, but The Orangery is not really about destination dining. Rather, itโs hearty serviceable grub and generous portions for those whoโve been walking nearby, using the spa or staying in the lodges.
We were well fed, though the perfect ending would've been a postprandial nap in a Play Barn tunnel before getting back in the car.
Sadly, it seems that grown-ups aren't allowed ANY fun.
Whitekirk
(01820 671 700, www.whitekirkhill.co.uk)
Places to try Nearby
The Grange Restaurant & Steakhouse, 35 High Street, North Berwick (01620 893 344, www.grangenorthberwick.co.uk)
Weโve heard good things about this restaurantโs Bass Rock Burger, which contains black pudding, haggis, bacon, onion rings, cheddar and mozzarella. They're also known for their steaks, platters, hot dogs and sundaes.
The Watchman Hotel and Restaurant, East Links Road, Gullane (01620 842 299, www.watchmanhotel.co.uk)
The menu looks pretty impressive at this new hotel and restaurant. As well as hearty comfort food staples, they do dishes like confit duck leg with potato and truffle slice and sweetheart cabbage. Thereโs sticky toffee pudding, as well as honey and poppy seed souffle.
Bostock Bakery, 42 High Street, North Berwick (01620 895 5515, www.bostockbakery.co.uk)
If youโre all about the pastry over Christmas, then keep an eye on this bakeryโs social accounts. Itโs about to share its Festive order form, so you can bag some goodies to collect from here (or the East Linton branch) on Christmas Eve.
