Head to The Crafty Pig on Great Western Road and kill two food trends with one stone with their donut burger (the donut being the new cupcake, for a couple more months anyway). Roughly 8 million calories-worth of two thick patties, double cheese and smoked bacon is smothered in cola cube BBQ sauce and sandwiched between two halves of a glazed donut. Don't worry, there's salad in there too.
Gourmet Burger Kitchen is the latest addition to Glasgow's very own meat mile on St Vincent Street, alongside Five Guys, Handmade Burger Co and Bread Meats Bread. Forgive them the false start of the Glasgow “banter”-ridden menu (vaneelae mulkshake anyone? Or perhaps a whitey wine?), which has mercifully been rethought, and focus on the burgers. It's the accoutrements that add the extravagance here – go for the St Morish which comes with raclette cheese, truffled mushrooms, baconnaise, chilli chocolate ketchup and onion jam, or the Camemburger if a hash brown, truffle mayo, onion jam, relish and, of course, camembert are more to your taste. Feel like there's still something missing? Additional topping options include satay sauce, harissa mayo, blue cheese, onion rings, fried eggs, pineapple and avocado.
Fend off any threat of a protein deficiency at Bread Meats Bread with The Wolf of St Vincent Street burger, which boasts double bacon, pulled pork in BBQ sauce and American cheese on top of its dry-aged premium Scotch beef patty. To be extra safe you can add yet more bacon, cheese, smoked meats, “beefy Sriracha mayonnaise”, even an extra burger, plus some bacon chips on the side.
Does size matter? It does at Ad Lib , where the Monster Burger Challenge offers £35-worth of burger for free to anyone who can eat 3 lbs of Aberdeen Angus beef, three beef tomatoes, two onions and 1 lb of cheese wedged into a giant bun, in under two hours, without leaving the table (and yes, even bathroom breaks are forbidden).
Street food pop-up El Perro Negro – which has previously set up camp at Bar Bloc and Brewdog – is helping Glaswegians stay classy even while eating a burger, with the Top Dog. Roquefort and bone marrow butter and black truffle mayo bring the decadence to a patty made from Highland cows encased in (what else?) a brioche bun and adorned with rare-breed bacon and caramelised onions to boot, making for possibly the poshest of the city's ample supply of gourmet burgers.
Bring it back down to earth at The Arches, where you'll find the Bucky burger. A pork patty infused with a Buckfast reduction and served with root vegetable coleslaw, this creation is the perfect pre-game dinner, allowing you to both line your stomach and prepare to party simultaneously.